Santa Self

Twas the night before Christmas at old KU
The Jayhawks were hot, and ranked No. 2
Conference banners were hanging, 11 in a row
I was all snuggled up in my fleece Jayhawk throw

Jayhawk fans were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of championships danced in their heads
I was sipping my wine, a Bordeaux I think
Listening to Christmas songs by E. Humberdink

When out on the court there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter
I ran down the corridor, I blast thorough the door
I crash through the runway and onto the floor

Videos streaming on the screen high above
Memories flowing of the players I love
Echoes reverb from the capacity crowd
It was raucous and exciting and crazily loud

Like the wonderful warmth from a loving embrace
The Rock Chalk Chant filled this special place
When out on the floor came a cute little elf
And right behind was Santa Self.

He was jolly and happy a right lively old guy
And he looked at the crowd and with a wink of an eye
He bowed and he waved as the people all clapped
Then he held up his hand and the crowd was rapt

Then in came the players in Crimson and Blue
More rapid than eagles on the court they flew
It was louder than ever, it was time for the game
And our beloved announcer called them by name

Now Mason, now Ellis now Mickelson and Greene,
As Graham, Bragg and Traylor burst onto the scene
With Selden and Diallo flying around
There was Lucas and Svi barely touching the ground

And not knowing exactly what Santa Self was planning
In reserve just in case were Self, Young, Vick and Manning
And these 15 young coursers like warriors of old
Were preparing for battle, going for gold.

Then old Santa Self called them all to his side
He said “Men our foes will not run and hide
Fear us they do for we are the best
And for 11 straight seasons we’ve stood on the crest”

The players were ready, the whole crowd elated
As videos reminded how we’ve so dominated
“But now we are challenged by competitors anew
Like Hield and Niang to name just a few

Men who desire to pull us down
Who believe in their hearts that they’ll take our crown
So this is our charge, this is the reason
We must play our best as we enter the season

Of conference play when the games really count
And the stress level raises and the pressure will mount
“But remember my words as I say them to you
We fear no team, we are Crimson and Blue.”

The words flowed so glibly from old Santa Self
He inspired his charges like no other elf
He was spritely and merry with a shiny old nose
But he also was a master of X’s and O’s

He prepared his young men for conference play
And he chided them on to prepare for that day
To be ready to shine when that time is at hand
To vie for the title, the best in the land

"Close your eyes and listen and try if you may
To see what lies ahead if you do what I say
I will give you a glimpse of a wonderful story
Of winning and happiness and all kinds of glory

If you work as a team and you give me your best
If you play with energy, vim vigor and zest
We can win the Big 12 18 straight through
Then 3 straight wins to win the tournament too

Now the big dance beckons in this story of mine
And this is the place we will finally shine
There will be lots of chants and lots of trash talk
But there will only one team that has the Rock Chalk

And that is the secret to winning it all
And that is the beckon, the herald, the call
The call is to play in such a great manner
That Allen Fieldhouse will get a new banner"

Now this was his vision so pure and so true
So perfectly suited for this Crimson and Blue
That we all lost our senses as we cheered with such might
For this is our destiny, our call and our right
Then Santa Self exclaimed as he went from our sight
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.